Ahhhhh sneaking around is so much fun!!! We all went round to his for supper tonight. A bit nervous at first, but soon relaxed and ahhhhhhhhhhh, so good. Noone has commented on how close we are yet so we've managed to get through the difficult part. The other difficult part was resisting the urge to jump him which, we just discussed on msn just now, was really frustrating! He said he might drop by and see me at the party tomorrow night! I really really hope he does.

Its so difficult not being able to tell my parents anything. We both feel this way. I came home with a smile on my face, all the way home I just couldnt stop grinning and it was so hard to get rid of it so that my mum wouldnt comment. I decided to wear a mini skirt today too for the first time just to jazz it up a bit and mum made a face at it. She suspects something I know it. Or maybe I'm just paranoid in thinking she suspects something. But much as I want to tell them, I can now see where Josh is coming from. I want to be with him now without my mum wanted all the gossip about where he took me etc. I really think/hope this is going somewhere though. We talk, a lot, we like each other, we have so much in common. I dunno. But ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Also, Sam dreamt that me and her were lesbian lovers. Told a few people including our history teacher. It was a complete waste of a lesson. We were in fits of giggles all the time over it and taking the piss. I would lean on her "oooh, jess you're turning me on" or something. So funny!!!! "The depression was all bummed out" "Now SAm, dont go having any fierce erotic dreams about that phrase" Hahahaha!

Woop Woop - Skiing tomorrowwwww!

Am back from New York!!! It was soooooooooo good. There was no snow though! V. Sad. Bought lots of shiny new clothes including trakkie bottoms, my new found love and that shirt from American Eagle I'd been lusting over for so long. I went up the Empire State Building, Went to Ellis Island, Ground Zero and got the ferry round the Statue of Liberty. We also went to the guggenheim, (veeeeeeeeeeeery boring) Got on with the family until towards the end of the trip which was a start. I got a naaaaasty cold there though which put a downer on the trip slightly.

The parents surprised us with tickets to see Avenue Q on broadway. That show is absolute genius and pure filth. Some parts were horrifyingly dirty. I cringed on two separate occasions. But the songs were amazing, the jokes hysterical. Gaaaaah I wanna see it again!!!

As for before New York, all my friends seem to have left the country for the holidays. Even now theres noone around. :( So spent most of the time round at Sam's house, watching tv and films and eating her food. Christmas was good, a bit boring being with all the family and stuff but it was niceish. Spent quality time with the babies!!!!

Hopefully 2007 will be as good as 2006 was. Hopefully more fun, laughs, etc to come. I start driving in 3 weeks, got loooooooads of parties planned as well as the odd holiday. We're planning a Summer holiday, just a large group of friends somewhere filled with boys. So exciting!!!! & skiing in 5 weeks! EEE!

So Rosie doesnt give a crap about our friendship anymore. Despite the fact she hasnt said this directly, I know she's thinking of it. I asked her a couple of days ago to keep today aside so we could do something, ring her today and she tells me she cant go out till after 12. Fine, fair enough. She rings me again at 2 to say she cant go out till 3. Well thats my day gone. I ask if we can go into town to TopShop. She says no. So I ask her what she wants to do and she says she doesnt know.

I'm so pissed off. I told her that she wasnt working on our friendship anymore and she turned it round and blamed me. And I'm sitting here thinking wtf! I insult everyone. I call Sam fatty and and Tej, Tejarina. She is not the only one I insult and if calling her those words has offended her then maybe she has an issue with her confidence! So she asked whether I wanted to go out for lunch tomorrow. I said no. I left all day aside today, i'm not gonna wait around all day tomorrow only for her to cancel on me again.

& ok, fine, I insult her. I've called her shallow and vain and one track minded. But she bloody is. Her myspace is all of pictures of herself. All she cares about is the fact that she's in with the cool crowd at her school and she's chasing after this boy, by the sounds of it, like a whore. She's gonna get herself a reputation which, I'm guessing, she also got herself on tour as being a flirt and easy.

& its just so annoying because she was teh one worried that shed lose my friendship because we just wouldnt have time to see each other. And now she's the one not making time.

& we planned to go away on holiday together this summer. She didnt commit, and now I'm gonna have to tell her that a holiday isnt happening with her this year, and probably ever again. Sam invited me on a cruise with her family. If it happens, we'll be sharing a room, no curfew, 24 hour buffet, swimming, sunbathing, and lots of hottttttttttt American boys. I am in love already.

I've had the most amazing two days! I'm exhausted but just so happy!

On Friday night we went to see Wicked and Omdaaaaaaaaaaaays it was incredible! I've never seen anything like it. A huge theatre and everyone gave a standing ovation at the end! It was just amazing. I loved it all the way through. Stayeed the night at Rosies, came home early, wrote an essay and then went shopping avec Leoni!

I love Camden, I really do! Bought Sam's birthday pressie, well, half of it and then we headed to Oxford Street. Bought two goooooorgeous tops and I'm gonna go back to Mexx and buy that beautiful jacket! I love it. Rushed home and spoke to my mummy while getting ready to go out!

We all met in Golders at the station adn loooord there was lots of us. There was 25 of us and then lots of other people we knew bumped into us! (Dodieeeeee) And then this huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge limo pulled up! 30 seater! 40 foot long! Champaaaaaaagne! It was incredible. All my school friends together again. Lots of screaming and dancing and throwing ourselves accross the limo and undressing and the shizzle! It was hilarious! Anyway, went to this restaurant and we all were there for ages. More people joined us, it was really nice to catch up with everyone who we hadnt spoken to in ages. Found out oooooodles of gossip, so much its a case of my head is about to explode with infortmation. Laughed about boys and school and lessons and just generally reminised and talked about the future. It was wicked. Anyway, we got back into teh limo and went back to Debz's house where me and Rosie got a cab back here. Got in at 1.

Now I'm waiting with my sisters who i havent seen in a week for the parents to get back from las vegas! Very exciting!

But what really shocked me yesterday was just childhood sweethearts, i.e. jasmine and ariel. I had this huge lump in my throat when I saw them together. They're like an old married couple. They actualy read each others throughts. Jasmine wasnt feeling well last night, and Ariel was at her side every sngle moment. It was adorable. I looooooooove them and he is the nicest guy ever and she's just amazing. I'm just so jealoussss!

So le parents left at 6 this morning! I have a free house till Sundayyyyy! yay! Only granny has rung tonight to check I am okay and I had the builders in until 5. Now I'm sitting here chewing on my lip and bored and really quite lonely. I'm sure tonight'll be fine but I'm gonna get so saddddd! :(

& also, I got a text from Sam yesterday saying that Alistair fancies me. Hmmmm, I really like him too but I dont want a boyfriend! Garhhhhhhhhh! Why is it that when I really nice guy comes along, I just dont want a relationship!? *bangsheadonfloor* I'll probably see him though anyway & hope I change my mind.

But yes, I think that is all thats really happened the last two days...! Not much really.

Okay so it is common knowledge in my family now that the tv in my room hasnt worked for a while. It being 15 years old, my parents didnt really care when I told them it no longer switched on. One day it was working perfectly fine adn the following day it wouldnt switch on. I tried everything. changing the plugs, trying to prise the button off the tv to switch it on from behind the button and whacking it with my fist/books/anything really. It didnt work.

I was out babysitting last night and got back at 12. Stayed on msn till about 1 then went to bed. The tv was still not working, as usual.

A few days ago I was told about a family up the road who'd been burgled and they'd been sprayed with a tranquiliser while they were sleeping to make sure they were still asleep and cleared out their bedroom. Well that scared me a tiny bit.

I woke up at 5am. It wasn't pitch dark like it should have been but the tv was on. Well, it wasnt on, it was on The Ring style, all grey and crackly and the screen lit up the whole room. I got spooked. I practically shat myself there and then. I sat up and turned off teh tv and lay there, in bed, not breathing, so scared. I actually looked around the room to see if there was anything in there, You have no idea how scared I was. I mean, I woke up in the middle of the night to find my tv on. I mean, wtf, what does that? I was so scared I was in some kinda hot sweat, shaking.

Anyways I woke up with morning thinking it must have been a really really Really vivid dream. Yunno a tv doesnt just start working long after a person has given up trying to fix it. I thought nothing of it, yunno, obviously it was another one of the nightmares I had recently been having. And I've been having loads of nightmares. So I came upstairs before going out this morning to see if it worked and Shit it did. I was shocked/horrified that last night was real.

Honestly, it is really spooky and scary.

Edit: & also, now the tv almost killed me with shock, the reception is a thousand times better. I mean, before I only had 2 clear channels, the rest fuzzy. Now they are all perfect!

righttttttttttttttttt. Off to Sardinia for a week. Right now.

Fuckkkkkkkkkk never seen such a big spider in my life *shits self*

The last few days have been greatttttttt.

Went shopping avec Rosie yesterday, (as in Saturday). Bought some knickerssssssssssss. Then Rosie and Jennie came round last night and we watched Memoirs of a Geisha all together with nosh. It was lovely. Such jokessss. Slept in today will half eleven. Rolled out of bed at half twelve and ate lunch and had a coffee. Watched tv then until almost time for the football, went to get dressed, watched the football.

Then me Jennie and Yael went to see the Lake House in Harrow. (really good, ending is so cute)& then went to Orli in Edgeware for chipssss. & then came home. so much fun! With no booze.

& haveny taken hayfever pill in a few days & i've manged to go out.

I got my clothes backkkkkkkkk!

Am very very upset.

me and mum did a ginormous day of shopping yesterday. We got to Oxford Street at 10. Did a mahoosive River Island shop. Spent a lot of money. Then we went allllll the way up to topshop. Actually didnt buy that much because they hadnt changed their stock since we last went there 3 months ago. But I bought some shooooooooes :wub: And a weird but funky skirt. I cant even begin to tell you what I bought in River Island though because it was a big bag. But I bought some sunglasses and beads in there which are all very pretty. & then we went to Waterstones and bought our summer reads. 8 books. I'm very excited to read them. we then went to YoSushi, where we met dadddddddddddddddy! Basically, after the meal we gave him all our bags for him to take home so we could do more shopping without the bags.

& he's only gone and hidden all the shopping until I tidy my room. I've spent the last 45 minutes tidying it and I've only managed to clean my dressing table. I still have my desk, my shoes, my bookshelves and the clothes all over the bean bag and chair. :( Very upsetting.

Anyways after lunch we did more shopping. And more shopping. We wen to Selfridges and bought a bikini (and bra) anddddd I bought a new bag for college in accessorize and a hat. Those are the two bags that I managed to save from my dad. My mum has also gone and hidden the bags that she was carrying which is clothes from Esprit and Zara and I think somewhere else. I cant quite remember.

So we shopped, & shopped till 6 and then we hopped on the tube to Picadilly Circus and walked (by this time we couldnt feel our feet cos we'd walked milessssss) to the theatre. We had supper. And then went to see Phantom of the Opera. & OmGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! Its amazing. I was so into it I wanted to cry at the end but I stopped myself. Some of the stunts were just...no words. My mum is stil wondering over how he dissapeared from the chair. But, they had two phantoms & made him appear in two places. And an identical model to Christine. I jumping off things and the boat. The set was incredible. It was like being there. I wasnt too impressed with the Actress who played Christine. She over acted a bit. But the others were just wow. Some characters were so funny. Others were just...I could go on forever. Its definatly one of my favourite musicals. If not favourite.

But anyway, Must get back to tidying ma chambre avec my ipod in my ear playing phantom of the opera music. Kayleigh can you send me some of the songs I* dont have please? *flutters eyelashes*

In almost 4 hours, I will never have to study french again.

I seem to be on a permanent high at the moment! Thats wierd right, because its exam week and mocks are really depressing and stuff. I just failed my french one but I'm so happy and hyper. its just not normal! i should be stressed about my last 4 exams and fretting about my singing exam which keeps fucking up but I'm not. I think someones slipping sedatives into my coffee every morning. I'm terrible! i hve to learn how to sing and act a song by Tuesday! Hoooooooooooow I'm going to do it I do not know but I'm positive and confident!

I still need to find my history teacher and tell her I left my text book out in the rain! I;m not sure how she will take the news! She'll probably laugh at me. Most people do!